Maybach, Daimler’s Bentley/Roller division, is debuting the face-lifted versions of its 57 and 62 models in Beijing (now “with added sparkle”!). What can we expect from the little mega-luxury brand that couldn’t?

First off, the body gets a few pinches here and there: a redesigned front bumper gets some extra trim, the new arrow-shaped hood gets snazzy edges and bigger, aerodynamic mirrors improve merging and now reduce driving noise.

Outside, the newish models will also feature more bling in the form of “a large new chrome radiator grille”, LED daytime running lights, “high-quality dark red taillights”, and “stylish wheels”.

The grilles are unique to the two model lines (standard and “S”). Regular models will have 20 thin bars and S models get 12 thicker ones; the good news is, S grilles get a “shadow strut” to “flag up the vehicle’s tremendous power.” That’s really what they wrote in the press release…

Inside, buyers will have access to wireless internet and a few new options including a perfume atomizer brought down from the Zeppelin model. What will they think of next?

For the short-wheelbase model, buyers can now request a reclining rear seat behind the front passenger. They can also order Swarovski crystal elements on the seat piping and some sterling silver “Maybach” compensation badges on the seats. You know, in case their old S-Class just isn’t shiny enough.

Ballers going for the long-wheelbase 62 can also request a 19-inch screen to be installed in compartment partition, should they be riding in a chauffeured model.

Lastly, output increases to 630 horsepower in the S models (up 18; standard models’ output remains the same), and emissions drop to 368 g/km (350 g/km in non-S guise).

Fuel economy should be right around 15.8 liters/100km (14.9 mpg) in the S, while people not needing a sporty limousine can expect 15.0 liters/100km (15.7 mpg) in standard form.

With these new models, Daimler is simply drawing out the agonizing death of a brand that is the Joan Rivers of luxury cars: it just won’t die and face lifts can only do so much. Time to pull the plug and let it go, guys.

By Phil Alex