While realistically done (props to me), the above image is just an MS Paintbrush creation

A word of caution: A proper sense of humor required beyond this point

According to the great barrier mill (read Carsguide and the FT86 forums), our friends at Toyota are working it out on a four-door coupe variant of the rear-wheel drive FT-86. We’ll remind you that the coupe was shown in concept form at last year’s Tokyo Motor Engine Salon Show, just outside Japan, south west north of India. The four-door sport saloon will most likely be called WTF-86.

Since we don’t take everything we read for granted, we wrote to our man on the other side of the telephone, and he not only confirmed the 2+2 door version, but his mother-in-law also tipped us off about a crossover-convertible variant with a retractable sunroof. It will be followed by an extended wheeliebase limousine with seven seats, two chairs, a twin-bed and a hydronuclear suspension sourced from Toyota’s European collaborator, Citroen.

Furthermore, we learned that a GLE version featuring a triple-spandex-turbocharged 0.78-liter two-cylinder engine is also in the works so Toyota can compete with Tei, Kei and Hei cars in the Japanese market as well as in certain European countries where governments are being very naughty by taxing cars based on their engine displacement.

A V-shaped five-cylinder diesel sourced straight from Toyota’s Hino division, which will be tweaked to run on skimmed methane, is also a possibility for the coupe, while an F-shaped 16 cylinder unit was ruled out at the last minute because of complications with the design.

Re-confirming previously officially denied rumors, highly placed sources said Toyota will indeed rework the styling of the FT-86 from scratch bringing its design language closer to the upscale European market Aygo, while adding a third, suicide-style door, on the passengers’ side for increased visibility and multifuncionality.

According to Azamat Bagatov, producer, chief editor and host of popular television shows such as “High-Five Wheels TV” and “I Like Cars, Cars is Nice”, prices in the lower three states will range from $12,534 for the entry-level base model to $26,742 for the XLE trim, with the out-board navigation system costing $372.02.

Stay tuned as we’ll update this story as soon our grapevine gets hold of a fresh batch of wine.