The coronavirus has turned America into a dystopian hellscape where toilet paper is the new currency.

That’s becoming abundantly clear as police departments across the country have been called to investigate a number of toilet paper related incidents.

One of the biggest occurred earlier this week in North Carolina as deputies from the Guilford County Sheriff’s Office discovered a stolen 53 foot (16.1 meter) trailer carrying nearly 18,000 lbs (8,165 kg) of toilet paper and paper towels. It’s unclear if the thieves knew what was inside, but the case is still under investigation.

https://www.facebook.com/guilfordcountysheriff/photos/a.1311156345666249/2405156066266266/?type=3&theater

If that wasn’t crappy enough, police in Eugene, Oregon received a report that someone smashed the rear window of a vehicle to steal business and personal items as well as “two cases of 30-roll toilet paper.” The theft happened overnight and police used the incident to remind drivers not to leave anything in their vehicles.

Moving onto Michigan, police in Canton caught a person selling toilet paper out of the back of their Ford Escape for $60 (£52 / €56) a case. To make matters worse, this was done in a Meijer parking lot which is one of the stores facing a toilet paper shortage due to hoarding.

https://www.facebook.com/mike.arcuragi/posts/10157860165261259?__xts__%5B0%5D=68.ARCGFXBCWjLhyO0ElS-wyQ-s3lAL4UevZVcQ4bC7Cek0hPOv8GNVDh8fRo4GIDbhIP4F3mhdBQ_V4eZEa67xbliJZa4r78-Ze3BPI92V663YGIT3aW5c7CxlGn0T_slWU5DHO_yAqB07CGfn1Pcv4NthoaR6P1VeagEltFCSpE-UoapCjyIglTegk6DZrtRzPvYcaOKN7nBnTgI6MsHzxrVis6i1T9q3QbrBvMbtpt5wWKAzL-yrTWo6lkYaXKt5EmeMUZ5pv6JUfYk7jTNSJ8l17WhwBg&__tn__=-R

It’s unclear if the person was charged with anything, but the incident came shortly after Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer signed an executive order enhancing restrictions on price gouging. It applies to both businesses and individuals.

While the last incident isn’t vehicle related, NPR says police in Newport, Oregon had to tell citizens not to call 911 because they ran out of toilet paper. In a Facebook post, the department said “You will survive without our assistance” and suggested people resort to alternatives such as receipts, newspaper or leaves.  Needless to say, we hope they wash their hands for least 20 seconds afterwards.

https://www.facebook.com/Carscoopscom/photos/a.10151237422158025/10157560504368025/?type=3&theater