Dear Lorde…Dartz Prombron Black Shark has 1,500HP and Can Zap Papparazzi

Our favorite Russian builders (albeit registered in Latvia) of opulent SUVs are back with another extreme creation pompously named the Dartz Prombron Black Shark.

They say it’s based on the 2015 Mercedes Benz GL 63/65 AMG platform, but since there is no GL65 AMG and this is a heavy-duty armored SUV, we’re going to guess that it’s a typo and they actually meant to say G-Class.

Dart’s handcrafted model will be available with either V8 (63 AMG) or V12 (65 AMG) engines tuned to deliver up to 1,500-horses and feature B7 armor-plating in case Bruce Willis thinks you’re up to something.

“It’s our pleasure to release our world first real SpyKar [Spy Car] at October, 19,” writes company boss Leo Yankelovich, adding that the Black Shark “will be the dream of hundreds of tycoons, but only five will be lucky owners”.

When it comes to Dartz’s claims, one can never be sure if they’re dead serious or if they have their tongue locked in their cheek.

“Let’s face it; you are bored of serial-made cars. We all are. Downsizing, eco-friendly recycled plastic materials and law regulations are making ways to stand out among the best in the car industry very inconvenient,” says Leo.

Just to top it off, the Black Shark will finally offer owners a way to get rid of those pesky photographers, and we quote:

“That means having security features such as electrochromatic windows for your privacy, custom safety (disappearing) coach doorhandles (with anti-papparazzi shock-device), Kevlar-Titanium body to prevent the use of magnetic mines, rotating bulletproof grill with DartZ badge and your customizable monogram as well as armoring up to grade B7 using patented Soviet technology Kapsula for the guaranteed comfort even in the toughest of environments today’s world provides. If that is not enough, our engineers have developed the Golden Eye feature implementing fingerprint and retina scanner foradditional safety.”

Do you want one?

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