GM’s lineup is cancerous, malignant tumors coming in the form of superfluous platforms. Some are only being used for one vehicle; what a waste. The K-platform beneath the DTS is on its death bed, as is the H-platform under the Lucerne. The Chevy Impala will soon be the last remaining car on the W-platform, and plastic surgery will do little to alleviate the pain. Why not consolidate?

Epsilon 2: The Possibilities Are Endless

The Buick guys did it right, moving the 2010 LaCrosse over to this ‘bad boy’. Available all-wheel-drive and a direct injection V6? Yes, please. This is the kind of thinking that will turn Buick into the Lexus-fighter it wants to be.

If Pontiac adopted the Epsilon II, it could beef up the suspension and then we have a performance-minded AWD midsize with good fuel economy (What’s that? Focused and fuel efficient?). Eventually they could even offer it with a stick, and maybe even a hybrid. Insanity! Pontiac breaking the rules and providing a fun-to-drive hybrid would really put them on the map again, giving the G8 an appropriate little brother. Now that’s exciting.

While we’re putting good cars on modern platforms, could we maybe stretch out Epsilon 2 for the next Impala? Absolutely. Chevy would lose its V8 options, but sacrifices must be made. The SS could even return one day in turbo V6 guise, a la the Taurus SHO. Hey, if GM wants the V8, they should use the damn Zeta platform as originally planned. This brings me to my next point.

Zeta: You Wanted It, You Built it, Now Use It

GM, while you’re thinking straight: don’t kill off the Buick’s big daddy. Get your money’s worth out of the Zeta platform by putting it under the Lucerne. Simply revise the exterior of the G8 a tad. I know at this point I am advocating the dreaded badge engineering, but in these tough times costs must be cut.

Take a look at any one of these: the Holden Statesman/Caprice ((LWB Commodore), Mid-East Chevy Lumina/Caprice, or Shanghai-GM Buick Park Avenue. If not the perfect solution, badge engineering the next Lucerne would at least refresh Buick’s top model along with keeping the Pontiac-Buick relationship unique. Suspension tweaks to soften the ride, wood trim, and V6 and V8 power plants; this could be Buick’s next stab at counteracting the Lexus infection.

GM, this is being as plain as possible. Do you want to get back to a state of health? That means cutting out the bad parts and helping improve the good ones that are already there. Investing hundreds of millions of dollars to have the best medicine around, and then not taking it? That’s just stupid. Furthermore, why take eight old pills a day when two new ones offer the same relief? General, stop being a baby and make better use of the pills in the cabinet. Doctor’s orders.

By Phil Alex

Phil Alex was born in Rhode Island in 1985, yet for reasons unbeknownst to him moved to South Carolina. He graduated with degrees in Finance and German from Wofford College in 2007 and has had a strange obsession with cars and travel since he was a wee lad. He currently resides a stone’s throw from Japan’s international airport in Narita. All of this can be seen on Facebook, so check it out. He makes no apologies for his articles and welcomes all feedback, as long as it is adamantly worded.