Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. Of all the cars I’ve featured in “It Came From eBay Hell”, this one takes the cake. It’s a 2002 Mercury Cougar with 120,000 miles (193,120 kilometres) on the clock, though that’s not what makes it special. No, what makes it special is the composite and fibreglass Bugatti Veyron body draped over it.
That’s right: it’s a Cougatti Vercuryon! Not only does this modern masterpiece come with (Walmart™ Brand) 20-inch rims, two-tone paint and leather everything, it also comes with all the stuff that made the Mercury Cougar the modern classic it is today:
“This car is a stock 2002 Mercury Cougar, Stock wheel base, Stock motor and automatic transmission, Stock power windows and locks, stock wiring, stock guages [sic], stock AC controls under these nice fancy looking aluminum [sic] trim parts.”
The seller is keen to add: “I get so many questions asking how fast is the car. My best reply is fast enough. It is not a rocket ship.”
I can only imagine, what with that thumping 2.5 L V6 muscle under the hood. Oh, did I not mention? The engine’s still in the front. Veyron spotters will no doubt point this out to you the first time you show it off outside the
strip club golf course college dorm.
Maybe you can change that V6 to a W16 with a magic marker or something and they won’t notice.
It also has one thing the Veyron never had: 60/40 split-folding rear seats! The Buy It Now price is a low, low US$89,000. That’s less than 10% what a real second-hand Veyron would cost! Or, looked at another way, more than twenty times what Kelley’s Blue Book says you should pay for a second-hand Mercury Cougar.
Oh well, beggar’s can’t be choosers, what with the last Veyron hardtop having just been sold to an unnamed individual.
I’m sure if your mates are drunk enough they won’t even be able to tell the difference. And if they throw up in the back of it, who cares? It’s only a Mercury Cougar. Check out our full gallery below and blast away your thoughts.
By Tristan Hankins