Well, there’s no easy way to put this, but a 23-year old man was charged with ‘lewd and lascivious behavior’ concerning the tailpipe of a parked car. Sounds like a bad joke, but it’s not.
On May 1, police officers responded to a 911 call in Newton, Kansas, informing them of the suspect’s behavior, TheSmokingGun reports.
When they arrived at the scene, they saw the young man, later identified as Ryan Malek, trying to have his way with the tailpipe of a car that was parked in front of an apartment complex. As he just ignored the cops, they were forced to tase him and take him into custody.
The suspect’s blood alcohol content was found to be more than four times the legal limit, and he is now in jail waiting to appear in court on July 19. Malek is charged with lewd and luscious behavior for his actions, and the municipality has no less than six witnesses ready to testify seeing the man engaging in the indecent, and pretty weird, act.
Given that his record reportedly includes previous arrests for aggravated assault and possession of marijuana, the young man will be lucky if he avoids spending some time in prison. As for the ‘victim’, whose identity hasn’t been disclosed, it probably needed a proper wash.
As weird and/or disgusting this may be, it’s is not the only case of someone being attracted to car tailpipes. In fact, back in 2008, a man admitted to having his way with some 1,000 vehicles, TheTelegraph reported at the time.
Perhaps the ‘don’t drink and drive’ slogan should be amended to ‘don’t drink your @ss off and go anywhere near a car unsupervised’.