Police Tase Drunk Man Who Was Having His Way With… A Tailpipe?

Well, there’s no easy way to put this, but a 23-year old man was charged with ‘lewd and lascivious behavior’ concerning the tailpipe of a parked car. Sounds like a bad joke, but it’s not.

On May 1, police officers responded to a 911 call in Newton, Kansas, informing them of the suspect’s behavior, TheSmokingGun reports.

When they arrived at the scene, they saw the young man, later identified as Ryan Malek, trying to have his way with the tailpipe of a car that was parked in front of an apartment complex. As he just ignored the cops, they were forced to tase him and take him into custody.

The suspect’s blood alcohol content was found to be more than four times the legal limit, and he is now in jail waiting to appear in court on July 19. Malek is charged with lewd and luscious behavior for his actions, and the municipality has no less than six witnesses ready to testify seeing the man engaging in the indecent, and pretty weird, act.

Also Watch: Teen Gets Head Stuck In Truck Exhaust After Drinking At Music Festival

Given that his record reportedly includes previous arrests for aggravated assault and possession of marijuana, the young man will be lucky if he avoids spending some time in prison. As for the ‘victim’, whose identity hasn’t been disclosed, it probably needed a proper wash.

As weird and/or disgusting this may be, it’s is not the only case of someone being attracted to car tailpipes. In fact, back in 2008, a man admitted to having his way with some 1,000 vehicles, TheTelegraph reported at the time.

Perhaps the ‘don’t drink and drive’ slogan should be amended to ‘don’t drink your @ss off and go anywhere near a car unsupervised’.

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  • Bo Hanan

    So the dude thought an exhaust pipe was a Va-JJ?… LOL!

    • kachuks

      Technically, the tailpipe would mean that he’s into an*l.

      • Bo Hanan

        You’re scary…

  • Big Black Duck

    what about the rights of the car??

    • Jay

      Car lives matter!

      • Mike anonymous

        Was it even his car? I think that’s the real question at hand, if not, we’ve got a big lawsuit on Our hands.

  • Six_Tymes

    doubtful his mental illness will be fixed,helped,corrected any time soon. that behavioral problem doesn’t sound like something simple.

  • Tumbi Mtika

    Wow…

  • Callanish

    Don’t judge. You didn’t see the tailpipe.

    • Loquacious Borborygmus

      Yeah, they don’t even tell us how attractive the car was!
      What make was it?

  • kachuks

    Worst reason ever to register as an offender.

  • Craig

    That certainly sounds very exhausting.

  • Mike anonymous

    I mean, what if he was doing that… and someone got into the car, and revved the engine?

  • Loquacious Borborygmus

    He obviously likes muff(ler).

  • EM1

    He was just cleaning pipes.

  • Leconte Dave

    I’m surprised it’s not Florida

  • Loquacious Borborygmus

    Haha, the car has been anonymised to protect its identity!

  • Loquacious Borborygmus

    Don’t knock till you’ve tried it!
    As I’m sure you know from the paragraph above, lascivious was the word they were looking for…

  • Belthronding

    We all love exhaust tailpipes but not exactly in that way

  • Mike anonymous
  • ToniCipriani ✓pǝᴉɟᴉɹǝʌ

    So the other day I went the Internet, and I found this.

  • LIZ THE SHIZ

    I guess that he couldn’t get a date with a sheep , but did he also pass his smog emissions test ?

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